My cup runneth OVER

When we decided to make "Team Tasha" shirts, we thought we'd sell a few dozen to family and close friends. NEVER did we imagine that our first order would be for over 80 shirts!!!! Because of your generous support, we will be donating $400 to support Team Tasha in the Nashville Susan G Komen "Race For The Cure". This money will help other women affected by Breast Cancer.


Thank you for your continues prayers, love and support. Never in a million years did I ever think that breast cancer would affect me or my family. I've quickly learned, NO FAMILY HISTORY does NOT protect you from Breast Cancer.


Sometimes life does give your Lemons. Its what we learn to do with those Lemons--THAT is what counts!
"I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the LORD." Psalm 118:17

Much Love--Tasha #TeamTasha

Mammogram #2

Most women under the age of 40 have never had a mammogram. Are they fun? Ummm NO. Are they painful? Not really. The anticipation is far worse than the actual mammogram.

I am not sure why when you go in, they turn the lights down. Maybe they are trying to make you "think" you are in a tranquil spa and about to get a massage?

I prayed hard before, during and after that first mammogram on March 14th. But the biopsy on March 27th confirmed cancer. This is my first mammogram/ultrasound since the original one in March. This one was used to see the response of my tumor (HATE that word). We did chemotherapy first-before surgery. My oncologist (who happens to remind me of my Ken doll from when I was kid) wanted chemo first to see if my tumor responds to the meds. His comment, "How do we know if the chemotherapy works, if we take the cancer out? This way we watch it work!"

The hope is that my tumor (still hate that word) has shrunk to nothing. And that in the fall (October-ish) I will be able to have my lumpectomy followed by weeks of radiation once healed. And while I have SEEN the official pictures (I even have a picture cd;)), I will wait for the surgeon to tell me the official word. She will also give me the game plan.

Cancer sucks!!! But I do know without a shadow of a doubt, that my GOD is bigger than my breast cancer!

~My Boys~

I have two children, boys ages 13 and 4. When I told my 13 year old about my breast cancer, he cried for a few hours. The only people he'd ever heard of with cancer were older adults. And most of them had other health issues along with cancer. And really we didn't "know" them. We just knew of them.

Jacob often realizes when I'm tired and have reached my activity limit. Sometimes he even plays with his little brother while I rest. And he does try to help....When being 13 doesn't get in the way. :)

My 4 year old has no idea that Mommy is "sick". He just knows that mommy has a booboo (my port scar). To him, I am still supermom and can do all things--just a little slower than before. With his 4 yo understanding, I didn't lose my hair-I just got a haircut. And as my hair comes back in, he loves to feel it. Gabe thinks it feels like the kitty cat at poppies house. And his favorite thing---I now lay with him more and watch his favorite shows.

This is my favorite picture of Gabe and I. I love how his little hands are rubbing my face and his head is on my head. In his eyes, I am not sick. I am just Mommy...............

~~Chemo Brain~~

I use to could remember every detail of every useless conversation or fact about anything. That No longer holds true. I now suffer from "Chemo Brain". And yes, its a real thing.

Example.....After my 4 yo had swim lessons, we made a trip to Publix for a few things. We then stopped by the local burger joint for take-out lunch. When we got home, I get Gabe out of the carseat, get the burgers inside put the milk in our garage frig (doesn't everyone have an extra frig in the garage?). Made the 13 yo help with the few bags I had and went inside to eat. 10 minutes later, out to the garage I went.....Driver door wide open and the refrigerator door also open--and the garage was at least 95. That is just today's example.

I can be in the middle of a conversation, and I can forget what I am talking about. I can open the cabinet 5 times and finally on the SIXTH try, I remember what I was after. And my favorite....I forget to listen when people are answering my questions.

I forget what things are called or I call them the completely WRONG thing. I now call my children multiple names---I only have 2 kids, three if you count my husband. ;)

Chemo Brain should go away once they quit pumping me full of poison. I hope so. Not what was I talking about?????

NO SHAVE CHEMO

The absolute best thing (and probably the only good thing) about chemo is NO SHAVING!!! In the last 3 months, I have maybe shaved my legs twice. And that was at the beginning before all my hair fell out. And then during my 3 week break between my different meds. And my arm pits.....can't even remember when. NO HAIR period!! When we go to swim, no need in shaving my bikini area. SO, I have NO razor burn.

Granted, my hair is almost completely gone. My eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning and making a slow exit. I've always had white peach fuzz hair on my arms. Yet, that still remains.

My razor and shave gel are just sitting there on the side of the tub waiting for the day I can shave again. If I had to find a "blessing in disguise" it would definitely be---NO SHAVING!!!!

Classification...Survivor? Fighter?

~sur·vi·vor~
/sərˈvīvər/
noun
a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.

I often wonder where I am on the cancer classification ladder. I really don't feel like I hold the status of survivor---yet.

At Wal-Mart a few days past, I was thankful to have less than 20 items so that I could go through the tobacco purchasing line. Not sure about your Wal-Mart, but ours can have 23 people waiting in one line and they still refuse to open another register. ANYWAY...As I stood there in my baseball hat, unloading my cart, the cashier smiled and asked, "If you don't mind me asking, are you a cancer survivor?" My response, "Yes...Well working on it."
She told me how she would be sending prayers up for me and I thanked her. Then, I had to hear the story. The story of her so & so who died of cancer a few years ago.

I'm not going to lie, Cancer sucks! It not only robs you of your right here, right now life. It also takes it from your kids, husband and family. Our summer has became renamed as the Summer of Chemo. Our life right now revolves around my treatments and doctor appts. I still have 10 weeks of chemo left. That means that afterLabor Day, I should be DONE. Not completely done, but done with part one. Then comes Fall.....The Fall of surgery, recovery and radiation.

I realize everyday that this is just a journey. A journey to get to the state status of survivor. Not going to lie.....Wish I wasn't chosen for this journey.

To Wig or Not to Wig?

Losing your hair is probably the hardest part of chemotherapy. From the outside, I looked fine and healthy. UNTIL, I lost my hair. Then I actually looked sick. First off, I am not a vain person. Most days you will find me no makeup, yoga pants (and lets be honest...I don't do yoga) and hair in a ponytail. I did have long, thick hair before cancer. Not because I love long hair. Mainly because I have no patience for sitting in a chair having my hair "did". Oh, I use to love it and it felt so good to be pampered. THEN, I became pregnant with our second child and my patience flew out the window. I did have my hair trimmed over the years--But no real cut.


I was lucky enough to find a great (and reasonably priced) wig boutique. My wigdresser (totally made up word) was fabulous and her mother had also been through breast cancer. I purchased a wig that actually looked natural on me. But it was hard to imagine me in the wig, since I still had my hair.

It took @20 days from my first treatment to start losing my hair. It was coming out in clumps. It was cut short to hopefully make it through my oldest sons 13th birthday party. (there was LOTS of hairspray used to keep it in place) Two days later, I realized we had to shave it off and I would need to start wearing my wig, baseball caps or a scarf.

At first, I wore my wig when I left the house....except in the car rider line, then I just wore my baseball caps. I was still having trouble tying a scarf on my head. Then I decide if people wore pajamas to Wal-Mart, I could just wear my baseball cap, with no hair, to Wal-Mart. Today the decision on wearing my wig depends on where I am going. I do not wear my wig to my oncologists office (almost everyone is bald there), but I do for other drs appt. Wal-Mart and Kroger only get to see me in a baseball cap. BUT Publix and Target are "fancier" places so they get the wig. Its to the point that if I have my wig on, my 4 year old will ask, "we go to target?"


My oldest son bowls in a kids bowling league. I have not been to bowling since I started treatments. Today, we needed to go for practice. Then the question arose....To wig or not to wig? Yes, I would see people there that I knew. Some would know about my breast cancer, others would not. After much debate with my 13 year old, the decision was made...NO WIG. So now the bowling center will be classified as a baseball cap wearing place.

~~Pink Stinks~~

When I was a little girl, pink was my favorite color. I wanted pink EVERYTHING!!! Even my Barbies loved pink. My Daddy use to tell me, "Pink Stinks!" Of course I would cry and throw an ever lovin' pink fit. He would laugh. I had such pink dedication! Yes, over the years my favorite color has changed. Now nearing 40, my favorite color is whatever makes me look skinny! But still I have special pink things. On March 28th, 2014 I was told I had Breast Cancer. I was given a pink tote bag that day at my surgeon's office. This pink bag would carry all my information, my cancer brochures, my pathology report and everything breast cancer related.

This pink bag would "out" me to everyone I passed in the parking lot that day. It would scream, "Tasha Adkins--39--wife of Greg, Mother of Jacob & Gabe has BREAST CANCER!!!" Right then I realized it was true--- PINK STINKS!!!!