Out with the old

Lots of things happened at the end of 2014. I was declared NED---No Evidence of Disease--from Breast Cancer. I finished all of my Chemo and Radiation treatments. My husband and I celebrated 15 years of marriage. AND on December 19th, 2014----I turned 40 years old. Forty did not bother me. I had just been through a horrible experience with cancer, so turning 40 was a breeze.

2015--Nothing crazy and unusual happened--Thank God! My baby started Kindergarten and my oldest started his last year of Middle School.

I made it to the One year survivor mark. I have hair and its curly--and I've NEVER had curly hair in my life, except with the help of a perm. All my blood work and numbers continue to "look good".
Only problem---the 11 pounds I gained during Chemo, they are still with me, even today!!! I thought when you went through Chemo, you lost weight. Not going to lie, I was beyond surprised to learn that most Breast Cancer patients do NOT lose weight but GAIN weight?!?!? And Lord knows, I didn't need to gain anymore weight.

So, here I am on January 4th, 2016 still with those extra 11 pounds on top of the weight I did not need on my 5'2" frame. I didn't try very hard last year to "lose" weight. I guess I figured since I survived cancer, I DESERVED to eat whatever crap I wanted too. BUT if I want, and I DO, to give it my all in making Cancer stay away, all of that extra weight that I've been collecting, NEEDS to go.

Rather than dieting, I plan on making lifestyle changes.
I WILL exercise MANY times a week.
I WILL eat foods are that good for me.
I WILL not eat because I am bored, mad, sad, glad, upset, angry, happy, etc etc.....
I WILL learn to control my craving, not my craving controlling me.

This Year I WILL.

My cup runneth OVER

When we decided to make "Team Tasha" shirts, we thought we'd sell a few dozen to family and close friends. NEVER did we imagine that our first order would be for over 80 shirts!!!! Because of your generous support, we will be donating $400 to support Team Tasha in the Nashville Susan G Komen "Race For The Cure". This money will help other women affected by Breast Cancer.


Thank you for your continues prayers, love and support. Never in a million years did I ever think that breast cancer would affect me or my family. I've quickly learned, NO FAMILY HISTORY does NOT protect you from Breast Cancer.


Sometimes life does give your Lemons. Its what we learn to do with those Lemons--THAT is what counts!
"I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the LORD." Psalm 118:17

Much Love--Tasha #TeamTasha

Mammogram #2

Most women under the age of 40 have never had a mammogram. Are they fun? Ummm NO. Are they painful? Not really. The anticipation is far worse than the actual mammogram.

I am not sure why when you go in, they turn the lights down. Maybe they are trying to make you "think" you are in a tranquil spa and about to get a massage?

I prayed hard before, during and after that first mammogram on March 14th. But the biopsy on March 27th confirmed cancer. This is my first mammogram/ultrasound since the original one in March. This one was used to see the response of my tumor (HATE that word). We did chemotherapy first-before surgery. My oncologist (who happens to remind me of my Ken doll from when I was kid) wanted chemo first to see if my tumor responds to the meds. His comment, "How do we know if the chemotherapy works, if we take the cancer out? This way we watch it work!"

The hope is that my tumor (still hate that word) has shrunk to nothing. And that in the fall (October-ish) I will be able to have my lumpectomy followed by weeks of radiation once healed. And while I have SEEN the official pictures (I even have a picture cd;)), I will wait for the surgeon to tell me the official word. She will also give me the game plan.

Cancer sucks!!! But I do know without a shadow of a doubt, that my GOD is bigger than my breast cancer!

~My Boys~

I have two children, boys ages 13 and 4. When I told my 13 year old about my breast cancer, he cried for a few hours. The only people he'd ever heard of with cancer were older adults. And most of them had other health issues along with cancer. And really we didn't "know" them. We just knew of them.

Jacob often realizes when I'm tired and have reached my activity limit. Sometimes he even plays with his little brother while I rest. And he does try to help....When being 13 doesn't get in the way. :)

My 4 year old has no idea that Mommy is "sick". He just knows that mommy has a booboo (my port scar). To him, I am still supermom and can do all things--just a little slower than before. With his 4 yo understanding, I didn't lose my hair-I just got a haircut. And as my hair comes back in, he loves to feel it. Gabe thinks it feels like the kitty cat at poppies house. And his favorite thing---I now lay with him more and watch his favorite shows.

This is my favorite picture of Gabe and I. I love how his little hands are rubbing my face and his head is on my head. In his eyes, I am not sick. I am just Mommy...............

~~Chemo Brain~~

I use to could remember every detail of every useless conversation or fact about anything. That No longer holds true. I now suffer from "Chemo Brain". And yes, its a real thing.

Example.....After my 4 yo had swim lessons, we made a trip to Publix for a few things. We then stopped by the local burger joint for take-out lunch. When we got home, I get Gabe out of the carseat, get the burgers inside put the milk in our garage frig (doesn't everyone have an extra frig in the garage?). Made the 13 yo help with the few bags I had and went inside to eat. 10 minutes later, out to the garage I went.....Driver door wide open and the refrigerator door also open--and the garage was at least 95. That is just today's example.

I can be in the middle of a conversation, and I can forget what I am talking about. I can open the cabinet 5 times and finally on the SIXTH try, I remember what I was after. And my favorite....I forget to listen when people are answering my questions.

I forget what things are called or I call them the completely WRONG thing. I now call my children multiple names---I only have 2 kids, three if you count my husband. ;)

Chemo Brain should go away once they quit pumping me full of poison. I hope so. Not what was I talking about?????

NO SHAVE CHEMO

The absolute best thing (and probably the only good thing) about chemo is NO SHAVING!!! In the last 3 months, I have maybe shaved my legs twice. And that was at the beginning before all my hair fell out. And then during my 3 week break between my different meds. And my arm pits.....can't even remember when. NO HAIR period!! When we go to swim, no need in shaving my bikini area. SO, I have NO razor burn.

Granted, my hair is almost completely gone. My eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning and making a slow exit. I've always had white peach fuzz hair on my arms. Yet, that still remains.

My razor and shave gel are just sitting there on the side of the tub waiting for the day I can shave again. If I had to find a "blessing in disguise" it would definitely be---NO SHAVING!!!!

Classification...Survivor? Fighter?

~sur·vi·vor~
/sərˈvīvər/
noun
a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.

I often wonder where I am on the cancer classification ladder. I really don't feel like I hold the status of survivor---yet.

At Wal-Mart a few days past, I was thankful to have less than 20 items so that I could go through the tobacco purchasing line. Not sure about your Wal-Mart, but ours can have 23 people waiting in one line and they still refuse to open another register. ANYWAY...As I stood there in my baseball hat, unloading my cart, the cashier smiled and asked, "If you don't mind me asking, are you a cancer survivor?" My response, "Yes...Well working on it."
She told me how she would be sending prayers up for me and I thanked her. Then, I had to hear the story. The story of her so & so who died of cancer a few years ago.

I'm not going to lie, Cancer sucks! It not only robs you of your right here, right now life. It also takes it from your kids, husband and family. Our summer has became renamed as the Summer of Chemo. Our life right now revolves around my treatments and doctor appts. I still have 10 weeks of chemo left. That means that afterLabor Day, I should be DONE. Not completely done, but done with part one. Then comes Fall.....The Fall of surgery, recovery and radiation.

I realize everyday that this is just a journey. A journey to get to the state status of survivor. Not going to lie.....Wish I wasn't chosen for this journey.